There comes a time in every programmer’s life when they stumble across COBOL, well maybe not “every” programmer. For me, it was during one of those late-night Google rabbit holes where you end up reading about "ancient" programming languages instead of fixing your own bugs. I’ll admit, the name “COBOL” sounded more like a 1980s sci-fi villain than a programming language. But as I dove deeper, I couldn’t help but wonder: How is this thing still alive? Or is it?
Let’s take a trip down memory lane and see what’s happening with COBOL—its legendary rise, its supposed death, and why it might just be the ultimate zombie of programming languages.
》What Even Is COBOL?
First, a little backstory for the uninitiated. COBOL (Common Business-Oriented Language) is one of the earliest programming languages, birthed in 1959. Yeah, it’s older than most of our parents. It was designed to handle business data processing—think banking transactions, payroll systems, and all the other unsexy but critical stuff that keeps the world running.
The language was revolutionary at the time. It was English-like, making it easier for non-programmers (mainly business folks) to understand the logic. Grace Hopper, one of programming’s biggest trailblazers, played a key role in its development. And for decades, COBOL ruled the corporate IT world.
But as newer, shinier languages like Python and Java came along, COBOL was declared outdated, clunky, and a little too verbose (seriously, it’s like writing an essay for every line of code). Tech people everywhere started saying, “COBOL is dead.”
》So, Is COBOL Actually Dead?
Here’s the twist: COBOL isn’t just alive—it’s thriving in some of the most unexpected places. While everyone was busy learning JavaScript and chasing the latest frameworks, COBOL quietly stayed behind, running the systems that matter the most. Banks, governments, insurance companies—essentially the institutions that keep society functional—still rely on COBOL to this day.
In fact, it’s estimated that over 70% of financial transactions globally still rely on COBOL🤯. Let that sink in. While you’re experimenting with machine learning or blockchain, COBOL is out there doing the heavy lifting, processing trillions of dollars. Trillions!
》Fun (and Hilarious) Facts About COBOL
1. The “Y2K Savior”
Remember the Y2K panic,(well, i personally didn't know about this before reading about it🤭), when people thought computers would implode at the turn of the millennium? COBOL programmers came to the rescue because many of those legacy systems were running… you guessed it, COBOL. Companies scrambled to hire anyone with COBOL knowledge, and salaries skyrocketed. It was like being the last person on Earth who knew how to make fire.
2. COBOL’s Lengthy Syntax
Writing in COBOL is like narrating a novel:
ADD 1 TO TOTAL GIVING GRAND-TOTAL.
Compare that to something like total += 1; in modern languages. It’s almost poetic in its inefficiency.
3. It Refuses to Die
Every few years, someone announces COBOL’s death. Yet here we are, in 2024, and COBOL developers are still in demand. It’s like that stubborn grandparent who refuses to move out of their house, even though it’s falling apart.
》Why Hasn’t COBOL Died Yet?
Here’s the thing: replacing COBOL systems is hard. These systems have been running for decades, and transitioning to newer technology would cost billions. Plus, COBOL is ridiculously reliable. It’s like that old Nokia phone that refuses to break.
But there’s a catch: the number of COBOL developers is dwindling. Most of the programmers who wrote these systems are now retiring🫥, and Gen Z programmers would rather learn Rust or Swift than touch a “dead” language. This has created what I like to call the “COBOL paradox”😎—the language is outdated, but it’s so critical that companies are willing to pay a fortune to anyone who can maintain it.
》Final Thoughts: The Zombie Language That Won’t Quit
So, is COBOL dead? Not really. It’s more like that retired boxer who shows up every few years for one last fight—and still wins. As a programmer, I’ve come to respect COBOL, not for its elegance or modernity, but for its sheer resilience.
And who knows🤷♀️? Maybe one day, you’ll find yourself debugging a COBOL system because the ATM at your bank decided to go rogue. And in that moment, you’ll realize: This language isn’t dead. It’s just waiting for you to join the hunt.
As for me, I’m off to learn COBOL. Not because I love it😏, but because who doesn’t want to be part of the exclusive club that gets paid like royalty for fixing 60-year-old code? 👑